Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Grammy's... Here Goes Nothing!

So here I go, found myself extra motivated tonight and decided that I'm going to recap the Grammy Awards right here as I watch them (or at least until I give up.... because lets be honest here this is my least favorite award show on the planet and I'm an award show junkie). Warning the show is like three hours long so this post can get pretty lengthy. Here we go. 

I also will save what I saw on the red carpet for another day but all I'll say is some girl actually had a machine gun glued to her dress. Truth. And below is a picture of Nicki Minaj. No words...

Time to start the show. 

- First off is Jersey's own Bruce Springsteen. Got to love Bruce, yet it does hurt not to see Clarence Clemons on the stage, I miss that man. He sounds good, great start to hopefully what will be a painless night. 

- Okay, so here comes host LL Cool J. He starts off very somber, wait whats this... he is leading the entire crowd in a prayer for Whitney and her family. Little odd. But carry on. Now he shows a video of Whitney singing "I will always love you". Great song, great performance... I have a feeling we will hear a lot about Ms. Houston tonight. 

-LL Cool J shouts out Adele. This should be an amazing night for her. She looks great and its great to see her healthy in the audience. 

-He also just called said "Sir OG Paul McCartney".. wow. Why is there a host for this show again?

-Boyfriend Calling: Timeout- 

-Okay I'm back.. Bruno Mars is performing. Never heard of the song he is singing, but his dancing is pretty impressive. Standing O from the crowd. Eh, it was just okay in my book.

-Next up Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt are performing a tribute to another great the world lost this year... Etta James. The song... "Sunday Kind of Love" and they are killing it. What a great pairing... Bonnie is so badass and still has got it. Great job girls, this is easily the best of the bunch so far. 

-Now they get up to give out the first award which PS I do not put a lot of weight on due to their lack of recognizing the real artists in the music industry and usually giving awards away to undeserving acts.. thats all I'll say.  Anyways, I hope Adele and Bon Iver win every single one! Redeem yourself Grammy's... I dare you!

First winner: Pop Song of the Year.... and..... ADELE! Yup knew she would run away with this show tonight. She keeps her thank you short and simple. Should be a good night for her. 

-Chris Brown performance up next. Don't know how I really feel about them letting him back to perform only 3 years after he beat the living shit out of Rihanna after a Grammy pre-party. I'm not saying, he doesn't deserve to make music but I don't think you reward him with performances just yet.... anyways, his performance is a whole lot of dancing and lip syncing. Man can move, but I lose respect when you don't sing. Next!

-Back from commercials with Fergie and Mark Anthony. Fergie's dress is see through... really, you need the attention? Also don't they have people to tell them they look awful? They give the award for best rap performance to "Otis" to Jay-Z and Kanye West, neither are here to pick it up. Oh well. 

-Reeeeba Mcentire hits the stage and introduces Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldene (?) to sing "Don't You Want to Stay?". Country Kelly Clarkson is sounding pretty great, no surprise there; always nice to see her at these types of functions. I have no idea who this country dude is with her but I'm choosing to ignore is he actually there. Get em Kelly.

-Flash to Lady Gaga in the crowd with a full net mask over her face... sure there will be more on that later. ha.

-Yesssss. Jack Black is on my tv!! He is outside the Staples Center getting ready to introduce Foo Fighters who are playing to the public. I like the Foo Fighters very early stuff, not too much of the later albums but still respectful that they have been in the game this long.

-Dear Grammys? Why do you do this? Why can't you just let people perform by themselves, instead you  make artists to do things like what I'm actually seeing on my screen right now. Rihanna and Coldplay mash-up? No thanks. Side note: Rihanna is looking GREAT (totally channeling Tina Turner), I really hope that Chris Brown is somewhere backstage watching this and punching the face... about 30 times. Also Coldplay was pretty terrible.

-Another shot of the crowd and I spot NY Giants Victor Cruz sitting behind Adele. I know the man just won the Super Bowl and can do a mean salsa dance but really? You really never know what to expect with this show.

-And now I know why, him and fellow Giant Mario Manningham are here to present an award? This just got really weird.  Mario take off your sunglasses, you are not that cool. They give out the award for 'Best Rock Performance' to the Foo Fighters. In another example of why these awards stink, this one totally should have been either the Decemberists or Mumford and Sons. That should have been easy, come on people!

-Ryan Seacrest introduces the tribute and reuniting of the band that was actually the first concert I ever saw. Yay Beach Boys!! Maroon 5 starts out the tribute with "Surfer Girl", its actually really good. And I'm not going to lie, Adam Levine is not hard to look at. Not hard at all. Next on the tribute is Foster the People singing one of my favorite Beach Boys tunes "Wouldn't It Be Nice". The guy kind of sounds like a mouse that has been stepped on... oooh that chorus was rough guys. I give you a D for effort. Okay next up is the actual boys themselves... please tell me Stamos is playing with them!?! They come out playing "Good Vibrations"... no Stamos :( and well wow... these guys got OLD. Oh man, Brian Wilson... you are looking rough. I'm going to stay nice and just pretend this didn't happen. eek.

-Oh hey Stevie Wonder! He gives a great shout out to Whitney on his harmonica. He finally gets to why he is here, he introduces the legendary Sir Paul McCartney! So lucky that I got to see this man perform live this year, he is still so impressive! He sings "My Valentine" sounding great he looks even better! Great job Paul. A+

-Common and Taraj P. Henson present the award for "Best R&B Album" to: Chris Brown. He gets on stage and actually thanks the Grammy's for allowing him back on the stage, nice touch... but button your shirt kid. You are at an award show.

-Yay The Civil Awards are on the stage!!! So happy to see them here! They are introducing Taylor Swift with a musical introduction! Great exposure for a well deserved group! Bravo.

-Taylor Swift is now performing her song "Mean". The fact she is playing a banjo is impressive, but the song as a whole is pretty much a snooze. I'm also over her "I"m shocked you all are actually clapping for me" look, girl you have sold millions of albums, people like you. That look is getting annoying... just sayin'

-Its Neil Patrick Harris! Love me some Doogie Houser! He is here to present "Song of the Year" and the winner is: Adele for "Rolling in the Deep". She is pretty stoked and its all well deserved!

- Here comes Katy Perry's performance. Lets see what she has in store. Oooh, she starts off with a song I actually like. "E.T." its a pretty weird set and she is dressed like a really freaky alien but at least there is no whipped cream shooting out of her boobs. Its no secret that I'm not the biggest KP fan but I will say its pretty impressive how many hits she has off of one album. I think she is tied with MJ's Thriller. So there, I'm being nice.

-Next is the country portion of the evening... please hold while I fall asleep on the floor during these awards.

- Why is Gwyneth Paltrow there??? Oh man, I can't believe she gets to introduce Adele. Okay girl, show this crowd how its done. She starts off acapella and is sounding GREAT! I'm going to sit back and enjoy this one... Wow that easily was the performance of the night! She is all smiles and you can tell she is having a great time tonight. She easily gets the biggest ovation of the night so far, they give her a solid two minute cheer, and her reaction is genuine. Take notes Taylor.

-Ugh. More bad country music. Food break! Hold up. They are singing "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy". I'm starting to lose faith in humanity...

- Saving grace: just heard that Bon Iver took down "Best Alternative Album" at the early ceremony. Wish I could have seen that! His show in Richmond this past year was one of my favorites. Another well deserved award.

-Speaking of Bon Iver, here comes the award for Best New Artist! Mr. Tony Bennet is on stage to give the award with Carrie Underwood. Drumroll please.... YES YES! Bon Iver wins it! This is great! He looks genuinely shocked and his speech is pretty great. "I'd like to thank all the nominees all the non-nonimnees that have never been here and never will be here". I'm so happy for him! This is going exactly according to plan.

-Next is the sad in memoriam section here are some notables: Amy Winehouse, Nick Ashford, Heavy D, Nate Dogg and Clarence Clemons.

-And here comes the Whitney tribute. Jennifer Hudson is throwing down on "I Will Always Love You". This girl can sing! This also must have been so tough due both to the circumstances and only with what 24 hour preparation. Impressive Jennifer, not a dry eye in the building.

-Uh oh, next up is the electronica section. And by electronica I mean bad DJ's, auto tuned singers and lots of . I also have no idea who these people are. Next!

-Nicki Minaj's performance is here and I'm kind of scared. It starts off in a confession booth and I'm immediately lost. Is this an exorcism? This is sooooo bad. How is she famous??? Ugh I can think of about 500 other bands that deserve this spot.

-I'm starting to lose it, how much longer is this show.

-Here it goes "Record of the Year" these actually are all good nominees, not only is Adele in it but Bon Iver, Bruno Mars, Mumford and Sons, Katy Perry. And there it is, Adele takes it. So fabulous, she is cleaning house!

-Oh snap they just pulled out the big guns Diana Ross is in the building to present the last one Album of the Year. This should again be no surprise, Adele's album is so far above everyone else in the category its not really a competition. And the Grammy goes to... you guessed it Adele!! I don't know if I've seen anyone clean house like this since Norah Jones. She is pretty overwhelmed as she should be. What a night she had. I can't even begin to imagine.

-Now you didn't think they would let McCartney get out without singing a Beatles song or two did you? Didn't think so. Here comes the finale. Paul is out on his piano to sing one of my favorites Golden Slumbers. He ha brought Springsteen on stage with him and its becoming a mini jam session. "And in the end... the love you take it equal to love you make". What a great song and fantastic way to end the show! Good job Grammys.

-Final Thought: This is the first Grammy's in history I have watched the entire way through. Besides the random country sections and few terrible performances (I'm looking at you Minaj and Coldplay) it wasn't too bad. Glad to see everything worked out for my two favorites going into the night. Hopefully this will give Bon Iver some great exposure and Adele go break up with someone and get us a new album stat. For now enjoy what I'm sure is going to be a huge party somewhere in your honor.

I'm going to bed. PS sorry if this has been a rough read. I did it on the fly with very few edits and I'm just too tired now to go back. 

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